Friday, November 19, 2010

I Have a Mistress

I have a mistress. 
And my wife doesn’t mind. 
How cool is that?!
One aspect of homeschooling that I just love is how much I learn while teaching my children.  Today I learned that I not only have a mistress, but that my wife doesn’t mind.  Not at all.  Why should she?  It is she.     
My son Major Havoc completed an extended worksheet on abbreviations this afternoon.  Through the process of elimination he connected the abbreviation “Mrs.” with the word “mistress.”  When I looked over his paper I was certain that there was a misprint.  “Mrs.” is the abbreviation for “mistress?”  I checked the dictionary.  Sure enough, the worksheet was correct.
The next question that came to mind was, “How did I make it to 45 years of age and not know that “Mrs.” is the abbreviation for “mistress?” 
The short answer is that I attended public schools.  The long answer is that somewhere along the line I was taught that “Miss” was a term used to address a single woman, “Mrs.” was used to address a married woman, and “Mister” was used to address a man.   “Mister” could be abbreviated using “Mr.” It never once occurred to me to ask what “Mrs.” stood for beyond “married woman.”
I think I’m going to start introducing my wife as my mistress.
“Hi!  My name is Arby.  This is my mistress, Melissa.”  Then I’m going to enjoy some very entertaining facial expressions as people look from her to me and wonder exactly how to respond. 
Mistress Melissa.  Sounds exotic!
And to think that I wouldn’t have learned this if I wasn’t homeschooling...
Now, how cool is that?!


  1. Mistress Melissa. Yes, sounds exotic. I love learning new things that I missed (or never got) the first time around!

  2. I actually knew that one. I forget where I learned it, but most likely I figured it out on my own (too shy to ask questions in school!)

    I've always said one of the best reasons to homeschool is to educate ourselves!

    Peace and Laughter!

  3. For some reason when you say "Mistress Melissa" I see someone like Charlotte O'Hara running down the steps of Tara shouting "Arby, don't go!" The Boss doesn't fit that picture, and I'd bet she's glad she doesn't. I'd watch out for a left hook if you introduce her as your Mistress at church.

  4. Charlotte was the evil twin for Scarlett. That woke me up at 12:14 am.

  5. HAHAHA! Now, how to keep your KIDS from saying, "Hey, my dad has a mistress!" I did not know this either. In thinking about it, I realized that this has some ramifications that most housewives could REALLY take advantage of. You do realize that mistresses have all the fun and none of the work, right? Mistresses don't take care of the kids, do the housework, etc. I'm thinking maybe you better rethink how much you run with this concept. Just sayin'....

  6. already take care of the kids and do most of the housework. So, I'm thinkin' there won't be much of a problem here!

  7. Yeah...I guess you're right. Well, I don't think the whole mistress thing is gonna work for me. My husband would never allow it. He doesn't do any of the work. He'd have to find a maid/teacher/babysitter/cook/laundry woman. For free. Yeah...not gonna happen.