Friday, September 23, 2011

Hey, Homeschoolers! Where Do You Send Your Children To Learn To Be Bullied?

I’ve always been staunchly opposed to homeschooling because I think schools, public or private, teach kids how to function in society as much as anything else.
-Kara Moore

Author Kara Moore listed her reasons for preferring a public school education over homeschooling in a benign essay titled “Is homeschooling the wave of the future?” on the Charleston Daily Mail’s Mommyhood Blog page. There’s nothing in her writing that is particularly troublesome for the homeschooling community. She isn’t an activist bent on outlawing home education. Mrs. Moore stated that her children are in a “quality” public school, and that if they lived in an area of the country like “Memphis or Washington, D.C.,” she might be more aware of a need to homeschool. She invested no time defining what makes a “quality” school or why Memphis and D.C. area schools fail to meet that standard. Her ultimate concern is whether or not public schools are simply a baby-sitting service while maintaining that (wait for it) “there’s an important socialization aspect of school.” Then, in the comments section of her post, she revealed the value of a public school education based on her memories of school life and the lessons she learned. None of them are academic.

She wrote:

I mean things that happen outside of lesson plans. I mean getting up at 6:30 to wait for the bus and sitting in pep assemblies and dealing with mean girl cliques and learning to eat school lunches when you’ve always been a picky eater, learning to take standardized tests in freezing cold classrooms, dealing with teachers who seem to have it out for you, or worse, who bore you. When I list them, they sound like the worst parts of school, but those are things that really prepare you for living in society with others. IMHO.

She added:

Though I want to be clear that I think there’s an excellent chance you’re right and I’m wrong.

I’m always fascinated by the “learn to deal with bullies” concept as expressed above. Where do people think members of “mean girl cliques” go to at night? Do they head home to sit and wait for the dawning of a new day in order to return to school and be a mean girl? Most bullies don’t leave their meanness in their school locker when they leave school at the end of the day. They participate in society outside of school, bringing their meanness to Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts, church youth groups, athletic teams, the local park, etc. Homeschoolers get to learn to deal with jerks after school, where it isn’t a distraction to learning.

Most of the things that Kara Moore described as being valuable learning experiences are, in fact, simply distractions that prevent meaningful learning from taking place. Pep assemblies? Teachers who bore you? Teachers who dislike you? If that’s what people remember the most from attending 13 years worth of public schooling, then there is something seriously wrong with public education. Most students mentally tune out of classrooms where they dislike a teacher, or where they know a teacher dislikes them. And if taking tests in a cold classroom is critical to the academic and emotional development of my children, I will gladly turn off the furnace this February when my kids take their Iowa tests.

I educate my children at home because I want them to receive a high quality academic education. I want them to learn history without the political biases many public school teachers bring to the classroom. I want my children to master the skills they are being taught. I want them to learn critical thinking skills. Their education is tailored to their areas of interest as well as their overall ability levels and discipline specific ability levels. Why would I send my children to school for any reason other than receiving the best possible education? Preparing them to interact with society once they leave home? That’s a parent’s job.

13 comments:

  1. "I educate my children at home because I want them to receive a high quality academic education. I want them to learn history without the political biases many public school teachers bring to the classroom. I want my children to master the skills they are being taught. I want them to learn critical thinking skills. Their education is tailored to their areas of interest as well as their overall ability levels and discipline specific ability levels. Why would I send my children to school for any reason other than receiving the best possible education? Preparing them to interact with society once they leave home? That’s a parent’s job."

    I have nothing more to add. (Wow...that NEVER happens!)

    Excellent post.

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  2. That business about school teaching kids how to deal with bullies is such crap.

    Setting aside the fact that "dealing with" seems to mean to suck it up and be quiet (because self-defense only gets you in trouble); why exactly does one need PRACTICE being bullied? I was never bullied once I got OUT of school, and even if I were, as an adult I have more ways to deal with it than I had in junior high. Real adults rarely behave that way.

    Furthermore, I have never heard anyone talk about being bullied in school with fondness - "boy, I sure am glad I was shoved in a locker every day for 2 years, or I would not be where I am today." or "it's a good thing I was called horrible, suicide-inducing names on Facebook because it was really key to my success."

    That kind of reasoning drives me nuts - if people actually THOUGHT about the differences between being in school and being an adult, all these particular "reasons for school" would go away. As an adult, am I told where to sit, when to sit, when to get up, where I have to go, when I can talk, when I can use the bathroom, when I can eat, when I can drink, when I have to arrive, when I will be allowed to depart...? Even when I worked a regular 8-5 job, I was not subject to such a strict environment. And if I was and didn't like it, I could leave.

    School teaches kids that the road to success is sitting down, shutting up, doing what you are told, memorizing the answers and not asking too many questions (none of which is true) – all the while navigating a complicated social environment unlike any other you will likely experience again....

    School has less in common with real life and more in common with prison.

    Bah.

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  3. I always find it funny that people say kids need to experience the bullying, but then schools put so much emphasis on stopping bullying.

    If it is so important, why are they trying to stop it?

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  4. Kara replied to this post on the entry titled "Do You Trust Your Instincts?" You can read her comments here.

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  5. I counseled a friend of mine to take her son out of school because of bullying. She was thinking about it, but her family and friends thought it would be better for him to stay so he could learn to deal with the "real" world. (I would never tell anyone to homeschool who wasn't considering it already, because most people get offended. Go figure.)

    Anyway, the child was being very violently bullied at school because he has sensory issues, and was in special ed classes. I asked her what was "real" about a world where criminals walk the streets with impunity, people who fight back are treated in the same way as people who bully them, and harassed people aren't even able to choose whether they'll be around the people who harass them. All her son was learning in that place was that his natural place in the world is as a punching bag to whomever felt like taking out his frustrations on him that day.

    It is amazing to me that people allow their children to go through that kind of treatment because it's "normal". If we went through that in the adult world, we'd have legal recourse to physical assault, or at least the freedom to move away or find new jobs to get away from it.

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  6. Sorry for commenting on the wrong post. Arby's link didn't work for me, so here again is the link to my comment.

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  7. Thanks, for providing the new link, Kara! I also discovered the bad link and was just about to fix it!! Thanks so much for stopping back and responding!!

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  8. Sorry for the broken link. I used bloggers' link making link to make the link and it did not link the link like it was supposed to link. Say that ten times fast.

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  9. "Why would I send my children to school for any reason other than receiving the best possible education? Preparing them to interact with society once they leave home? That’s a parent’s job."

    And that right there says it all.

    That and I love everyone else's comments!! ;)

    Great post!!

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  10. I agree with Cindy. Also, I know Linda wrote an article somewhere (but can't remember where) that she would never send her kids to public school and why, and I thought it was brilliant. Where was that, Linda? I'd like to link to it on my personal blog.

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  11. Hi Deb...thanks for your kind words! Not sure it's "brilliant", but I think THIS must be the post you're looking for! Link away!!

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  12. Well, if first grade doesn't fulfill my bullying hopes for Andy, I can just have him spend more time with my little brother or the Other Mother. Hehe. Oy.
    As for Hunter, I have to make sure he doesn't become a bully. He's big enough to hold his own.
    That lady is nuts if she thinks school teaches kids how to deal with bullies. That's something the parents have to teach when they come home crying.

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  13. Schools need to stop being run as though they are a business. Students need to be educated and need to become good critical thinkers. I fail to see how bullying or cold rooms would assist in this endeavor.

    Since its in the 100s here and the air conditioner won't work in front part of the camper; we are all stuck in the living area and it gets pretty warm in here. Perhaps, this is my own version of bullying? Making it too warm for them?

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