Homeschooled Student Suspended for Making a Weapon in School

A ten-year-old homeschooled boy was expelled from classes on Tuesday after biting his breakfast pastry into the shape of a surface-to-air missile launcher, and authorities don’t know what to do with him.

Hezekiah Ezekiel Jeremiah Smith was expelled by his mother after biting his Pop Tarts into the shape of the popular FIM-92 Stinger Man-Portable Air-Defense System (MANPADS).

When his mother saw what he had done, Hezekiah said she got pretty mad.  “She told me, ‘just wait until your father gets home!’ I knew then I was in big trouble.”

“I went through 17 boxes of Raspberry Pop-tarts to put together that missile launcher,” Hezekiah explained.  “It took three boxes just to get the safety switch to work.  The smaller the part, the harder it is to bite it into the proper shape.”

“It kinda made me sick to my stomach,” he added.  “Near the end I was feeding my mistakes to the dog. I don’t think either one of us will be eating breakfast pastries for a long time.”

The NRA immediately responded to the suspension by offering Hezekiah a lifetime membership and a case of Tums.

The homeschool’s public relations spokesperson, fourteen year old college freshman Abigail Bathsheba Jedidah Smith, confirmed that her younger brother was expelled from home studies.  “He has the option of reapplying for admission at the start of the next school year,” said Ms. Smith.

 “That child!” his mother exclaimed, shaking her head. “I have half a mind to send him to military school, but I don’t want to encourage him.”

The problem, according to local school authorities, is that no one knows what to do with Hezekiah.  Dr. Julius No, superintendent of schools in Flintlock, refuses to accept Hezekiah into the local elementary school.  “I will not allow him to enroll in our school,” explained Dr. No.  “That young man is a threat to the safety of every child in our district.”

“Just imagine what would have happened if that missile accidentally launched in our school cafeteria,” Dr. No continued. “It could have hit another student.  Children might have gotten red sprinkles in their eyes.   

Students could have gotten raspberry filling stains on their shirts. I cannot jeopardize the safety of our children by allowing Hezekiah Smith to attend one of our schools.” 

The boy's father, Bob, thought the incident was ridiculous. “This is insanity. With all the potential issues faced by homeschools today, threats from bullies,  whatever the real issue is, it's a pastry, ya know?' he said.

For the time being, Hezekiah is spending his days on the family’s patio, reading books, and creating a life-sized replica of the Easter Island statues out of Spam.

“It’s okay,” Hezekiah explained. “I’m ten years old and a high school sophomore.  I can afford to take some time off.”

When the Teachers are the Bullies, It's Time to Scrap the Plan and Start Over

 "The National Education Association believes that home schooling programs cannot provide the student with a comprehensive education experience."     - NEA Resolution #B-69

An Indiana grade school teacher was indefinitely suspended and her classroom aide was fired after it was learned that she put a diaper on a five year old student in front of his class because he was "acting like a baby."  The diaper was placed on the outside of his clothes.  You can read the entire story here.

For once, I have to agree with the NEA.  My children will never enjoy the "comprehensive educational experience" of being forced to wear a diaper on the outside of their clothing in an attempt to humiliate them for poor behavior. 

New Directions

I restarted my personal blog today, leaving behind Bedlam and moving in an entirely new direction.  To anyone who still receives updates from this page, if you previously enjoyed reading  Bedlam or THA, feel free to join me at Not Your Traditional Man Cave.  I hope to see you around the web!   

It was the Creepiest Children's Book I've EVER Read

It was the creepiest children’s book I’ve ever read.  Ada brought to me “Love You Forever” by Robert Munsch, and asked me to read it to her last night.  It started out well enough.  A young mom rocked her infant son in her arms while telling him, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll love you for always, As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”   The phrasing was a little awkward, but the sentiment was fine.

At age two the boy was a little terror, pulling books off of shelves and flushing his mother’s watch down the toilet.  I thought, “Yeah, I get it.  I’ve blogged about stuff like that.”  The still young mom snuck into her son’s room and held him while he was sleeping, rocking him in her lap while repeating, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll love you for always, As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.” 

Fast-forward seven years.  The boy was nine years old, and she was still creeping into his room to hold her sleeping son.  And then again at age 15.  I thought, “This is getting a little strange.”  This lady was on her hands and knees, creeping into her teenage son’s bedroom to hold him while he was sleeping.  The smell alone would keep most parents out of their teenaged son’s bedroom.     

Turn the page, and the boy was a young man moving into a home of his own.  The middle-aged mom was now driving across town in the dark, a ladder strapped to the roof of her car, so that she could sneak into her adult son’s bedroom, sit on the bed, pickup her sleeping adult son and rock him in her arms while reciting, “I’ll love you forever, I’ll love you for always, As long as I’m living, my baby you’ll be.”   

I thought, “Cut the apron strings, lady.”  This was more than a little weird.  This guy must have been hitting the bottle pretty hard to be sleeping through his mother’s B & E and never waking-up while she held him.  The old broad must have been seriously strong, too, as her son was twice her size!   If I were him, I’d have a taste-tester check my breakfast cereal in the morning.  The old gal was one syringe away from Munchausen Syndrome by proxy.

The story continued to show the elderly mother calling her son for a visit because she was quite ill.  The adult son went to his mother, held her in his lap while rocking in a rocking chair, and recited back the poem his mother told him.  Then he went home, went into his sleeping infant daughter’s room, and rocked her in his arms, telling her the very same words that he had just spoken to his mother.  

I’m hoping this guy got therapy, and soon, or his adult daughter will be calling the cops because some old creepy guy on a ladder will be trying to break into her room at night to hold her and recite poetry while she sleeps.   This is why we still need the second amendment. 

As I finished the book, Ada squealed, “Go back to the page about the toilet.  That was funny!”   

Whew! 

No damage done.

Tonight, I’m burning my first book.

I Wish There Was a Little Warning

These are the days that test my soul.

These are the days that age me a week in an hour. They make me feel old.

These are the days where I question what it is I am doing each day, and the effectiveness of my efforts. It is April 23rd, and we are 122 lessons into the math year. There are only eight lessons and two tests remaining before my daughter’s first grade math year is completed. Today, my daughter still cannot remember that any number minus zero is that number. Friday, she could. Today, she cannot mentally add or subtract by one. Friday, she could. Today, she is guessing at everything.

It doesn’t help that she’s easily distracted. I just gave her a number line because she needed to add “0+9” and that completely baffled her. I told her to put her finger on “zero” and count nine numbers to the right. She got lost somewhere around three. Frequently, she forgets to stop counting at the number she’s adding. In the course of the past few minutes, 0+9 has equaled 14, 16, 11, and 12.

I started to write “29-10” on a small, hand-held, dry erase board, and before I finished writing she asked if we could write on the other side of the board. Why? Because the idea passed across her mind, and anything that passes across her mind must also pass between her lips.

It’s a rule.

That makes attending church a real gamble.

She also decided that she had to color in the circle portion of the numbers 6, 8, and 9. Since her coloring skills aren’t that well developed, she’s obliterated every number she has attempted to color.

We’re doing a lot of rewriting.

Just shoot me now.

In the course of this prolonged math assignment, I gave her a bag of interlocking counting blocks. The girl started correctly counting blocks, snapping them together, and completing math equations.

Who knew?

I wish my children came with a sign that gave me a hint of what’s in store for the day. I’d like a warning that my middle child is going to drag his feet about starting even the simplest of assignments, and that my day will be filled with embarrassingly flimsy excuses, such as, “Oh, I didn’t know if you wanted me to open my plan book.” That’s why it took an hour to start a cursive writing assignment. I’d like advanced warning that the key to completing the day’s math lesson will be allowing my daughter to count mini marshmallows, even if that means I have to run to the store to buy them. A hormonal-meter on my teenage son would be helpful, too. It would be nice to see a little red needle pointing to “Irrational and Grouchy” when he climbs out of bed so I won’t bother to insult him with unwelcomed pleasantries such as “hello” or “good morning.”

'Tis a consummation devoutly to be wished.

I’ve been homeschooling long enough to know that there are days like this.

I just wish they came with a little warning.

Linda Can Still Pull My Strings

She does this to me because my friend knows that there are some stories I absolutely cannot let pass by without comment once I’ve finished banging my head against the kitchen table.

Linda sent me a link to a Fox News Insider article about a classroom teacher who made her fourth grade students become pen pals with a then accused (and now convicted) rapist who is serving a fifty year sentence for molesting a girl under the age of fourteen.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Fourth grade students are 10-11 years old. Their innocence concerning the depth of human depravity has been shattered by one of the adults they should be able to trust: their teacher.

This didn’t happen in a public school. It happened in Houston, Texas’ Trinity Lutheran School, a Missouri Synod Church school. It happened without the knowledge of or consent of the parents of these students or the school principal.

It just shows that private schools are not always the best resort when one is dissatisfied with their local public school system.

These children wrote letters that included their “full names, [a] description of their appearance, and their favorite things to do.” If there is one thing that child molesters are good at, it is grooming a potential victim by gaining access to them. The odds are that the creep in question will never again walk the streets of Houston as a free man, but nonetheless it is stunning that access to children by a child molester was facilitated by a teacher in a Christian school!

When man falls from Grace, he really falls from Grace.

It will take a lot of alcohol to erase the image of what this cretin might have done with those letters while alone in his cell. Luckily, the letters were discovered and removed from his possession. Parents have been notified. The teacher has been fired, and the principal placed on a paid leave of absence.

So, hug your children a little tighter when you put them to bed tonight, and take comfort in the knowledge that your choice to homeschool your children is the best defense against the stupid, thoughtless, and dangerous people who slip through the system and gain employment in our nation’s schools.

I’m off to find some Excedrin.

I have a headache.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

Sometimes life has a way of getting in the way of doing what you love. Though I LOVE to write, and have experienced a great deal of satisfaction from writing for this blog, trying to juggle full-time employment and homeschooling a 2nd grader has made it impossible for me to find the time to write. My own lack of time, combined with Arby's desire to get back to "family blogging" has brought us to the decision to discontinue our collaboration on this blog. The blog will not "go away"...there are articles here that I hope people will continue to stumble on and enjoy. But there won't be any new posts for the foreseeable future!

I hope to return to it again someday.

Arby and I have greatly enjoyed our blogging partnership over the last couple of years. For me, the best possible outcome of two years of blogging with Arby is the friendship that has been forged between our two families! It's been a joy to share this blog with him and to get to know him better. He's a man of great humor, and even greater character.

Thanks, Arby for being the best blogging partner that anyone could ever ask for! Hope to see you and The Boss again one of these days! There's a Portillo's Italian Beef here with your name on it!

Blog Contest Winner

Congratulations to Jill Schwarz!  Jill is the first (only, and last) winner of a blog contest here at The HomeSchool Apologist.

Jill, send me an email so that I can forward your email address to Lakeshore Learning.  They will send you a link for a free download from their online catalogue.

I hope you enjoy your selection.

A CONTEST! (after a brief product review)

Captain Chaos’s new favorite math activity is making a talking pig say, “Oops, try again!”  She giggles, and then tries again.  Who can blame her?  The pig is funny.  It’s a character found in a math game on the Lakeshore Learning Material’s computer based Interactive Calendar Math program. 

I was recently contacted by Lakeshore Learning and offered the opportunity to review any educational software title in their catalogue in exchange for a review on this blog. Normally, offers such as these go straight into my virtual trashcan.  In 4 ½ years of blogging, this is the first such offer I have accepted.   I did so because we need to shake up our homeschool curriculum.   We need variety in how we present concepts.  We need presentations that area good fit for Captain Chaos.  The girl simply cannot sit and write out an endless series of workbooks and worksheets as found in our A Beka and Saxon math curriculum.  We are turning our attention more often towards computer based learning.  That’s where Lakeshore Learning Materials enters the equation.  (I slipped-in that math reference for The Boss)

Interactive Calendar Math is a program for the first and second grades that teaches calendar concepts on a customizable classroom calendar, allows students to practice counting money as they drop coins into a talking piggy bank, practice skip counting with an interactive hundreds chart, and even write and solve their own math equations. There are also daily math problems for children to complete.   Each section is brightly colored, easy to read, easy to use, and has a button so students can check their answers. The skip counting page is customizable to your child’s favorite color. 

The first thing my kids did when they discovered the perpetual calendar was to check the days for their birthday this year, next year, and each year forward until they collect social security.   Well, okay, it really stops at 2030, but if you’re still homeschooling first graders in 2030, you have bigger concerns than running out of virtual calendar space.   By far their greatest discovery was the money counting page, where they must drag and drop coins into a talking piggy bank to equal a predetermined value up to $2.00.  If they get the correct combination of coins, Wilbur rewards them with a hearty “great job!”   If they miss, they are treated to an “ooo” face reminiscent of Gary Larson as the pig says, “Oops, try again!”  For some reason, neither my first nor fourth grader can manage to get a single money question correct.  But they have loads of fun!

We are still exploring this program’s uses, but I like the skip counting page.  By selecting any one number between 1 and 10, the 100 number chart can be highlighted to show counting by 2’s, 3’s, 4’s, 5’s, etc.   The page is colorful, and I can have this handy visual aid on a laptop on the kitchen table, which saves me from the trouble of decorating my kitchen in an early American classroom theme.    Educational posters clash with my cast iron collection. 

There are two flaws in the program.  The first is in the instructions for each section.  They cannot be turned off, so you have to find and click the “X” in the dialogue box the first time you use a feature each visit.  If you flip between features without exiting the program, you will not have to repeat this step.   I hope that this is corrected in future versions.   When I first looked through the program, I found myself asking, “Is this all there is?” But honestly, I have no idea what I would add. Using the virtual pencil to write numbers is challenging for little fingers, but I count it as OT.  I do recommend this program for anyone looking for variety in their daily math instruction.  It is available in CD ROM or download for $19.95.  The download is fast, simple, and easy to use. During the month of February there is a buy one, get a second half-off sale.  It had to be, because I made it work.    Lakeshore’s website even has a Free Resources page that is loaded with material we have yet to fully explore.  It’s well worth your time to check it out!
 
Now comes the contest part.  If you leave a comment on this blog post, I will enter your name in a drawing for a free software download of your choice from LakeshoreLearning Material.   Share this drawing on your blog and I’ll give you a second entry.  You can get another entry by sharing the news on Facebook.  Send a link for each additional entry to writearby@gmail.com. The deadline for entries is Thursday, February 16, 2012, at 6:00 p.m. CST.  I will put all the names in a hat and draw a winner.  I will post the drawing results on Friday’s blog (the 17^th).

Good luck! 

Homeschool Myths Debunked

Some of you have probably seen this, but if you haven't, you HAVE to watch!! I haven't laughed this hard in a long time!

Enjoy and thanks for stopping by!!

A Prayer Request for a Homeschooler

I’d like to ask everyone for their prayers this morning. 

Michelle, a homeschooler who writes over at Eagle EyeAcademy, had a niece in a bad car accident last week.   Bailey broke her clavicle and pelvis in three places.  Last week she had surgery to repair her pelvis.  Doctors inserted one plate, eight screws, and external hardware.  Yesterday, Bailey had surgery for her clavicle.  Doctors inserted one plate and seven screws.   This young lady has a long road of healing and physical therapy in front of her. 

Michelle will be on the road to Iowa from the west coast in order to help her family.

Please say a prayer for Bailey’s recovery, for guidance for her doctors and nurses, for strength for Bailey’s family, and for Michelle’s safe travels to Iowa.  I will keep you updated on Bailey’s progress as I receive news. 

Thanks!

Happy New Year

Arby was standing at the stove cooking dinner, listening to the sounds of the kids playing in the living room, when the house became deathly silent.  He heard General Mayhem say, “Oh, Captain Chaos!  Oh, Captain Chaos!  I am SO sorry!  Are you okay?”  Captain Chaos wasn’t answering.  It was one of those parenting moments when you have to choke down the rising panic, force yourself to remain calm, and face the unknown.  Our source of perpetual sound and motion was silent.  As he turned from the stove, Captain Chaos walked into the kitchen, walked directly up to her dad, and held out her hand.  He reached out, and she deposited her two front teeth in his palm.  Flashing a bloody smile, she said, “General Mayhem kicked my two front teeth out.”  Then she threw her arms straight in the air and shouted, “YES!”

You read that correctly.

Our little girl had her front teeth kicked right out of her mouth and she was celebrating.  If her teeth were a football she would have spiked them.  Apparently, while play fighting, General Mayhem performed a front snap kick at the exact instant that Captain Chaos leaned forward.  He claimed he barely touched her teeth with his big toe.  The resulting double extraction was fine with Captain Chaos.  She hates “wiggly teeth.”   Both were already loose.  General Mayhem saved her the effort of playing with them until she could pull them out with her fingers, something she did earlier in the year with a lower tooth. 

That’s our boy girl!

Captain Chaos charged into 2011.  Last January she walked into her bedroom, saw an Eveready CR2032 wafer battery on the floor, and thought, “Hey, that looks good enough to eat!”  Why did the Eveready CR2032 wafer battery look good enough to eat?  We’ll never know.  The girl isn’t saying.  We’re just happy that she told her mom after she enjoyed her snack.  That gave the ladies an opportunity for an extended ambulance ride while the driver became lost and took them to the wrong hospital.  Captain Chaos enjoyed three days at Children’s Mercy and a procedure to remove the battery that was lodged in her esophagus.  Blessedly, the battery was dead, so it did not discharge in her body.   Two months later, at her annual cardiac exam, Dr. Drake told her he had read her recent medical history.  “What did you eat?” he asked her.  Tired of lectures on what she should and shouldn’t put in her mouth, Captain Chaos dropped her chin to her chest and replied with equal parts resignation and disgust, “A battery!”  

And we always thought it would be one of the boys who kept us visiting the emergency room.

2011 was a busy year.  The Boss travelled more last year than any other year in her twelve years at TRAC.  She started a second Masters Degree program, because you can never have enough degrees.  She’s studying geospatial information systems through the University of Denver.  For the first time in a decade Arby understands what she is talking about when she speaks of work.  That’s because he understands the word “map.”  The Boss also started an American Heritage Girls Troop. The boys have Boy Scouts.  We wanted a scouting experience for Captain Chaos.  She loves it.  AHG is a Christ centered girl’s scouting program “dedicated to the mission of building women of integrity through service to God, family, community, and country.”   Their first meeting was held in September.  The troop filled to capacity on the first night and has been very active this fall.  Between work, school, and scouting, The Boss has been very busy, so she suspended her karate studies. 

General Mayhem’s feet made it to the end of 2011 without causing any more trouble.   It was during the summer of 2010 that his big toe and its nail parted company on a water slide at General Mayhem’s Ark water park.  The new nail required more real estate than its predecessor, so it grew in.   The subsequent infections required frequent trips to the podiatrist.  His foot finally healed last July, after he repeatedly soaked it in warm Epsom salted water in hopes that he would be healthy enough to swim in the hotel swimming pool on his Space Camp trip to the Johnson Space Center in Houston last July.   Honestly, some parents have to talk to their teenagers about safe sex.  We have to talk to ours about safe toe.  General Mayhem started his freshman year of high school last August.  He advance to Life Scout in Boy Scouts, and became his troop’s Assistant Senior Patrol Leader.  He’s looking forward to testing for his Black Belt in Karate this March.  It’s been a long journey.  He started the martial arts when he was in the first grade.

Major Havoc’s favorite memory of 2011 was fishing with Grandpa Mares in Wisconsin.  Major Havoc loves fishing, a trait he did not inherit from his father.  Arby fishes like his dad. That involves maliciously drowning live bait while pre-battered fish jump into the frying pans of fishermen a few feet away. Major Havoc will catch fish with anything on hand, including string tied to a stick or to a soda can.   He’s done both last year.   Santa brought the Major his first fishing pole in December.   Major Havoc became a Webelos I in Cub Scouts last year, and enjoyed camping with his den.  He’s still studying Karate.  He tested for orange belt in December.    The results will be announced soon.

The biggest change at home last year was in our homeschool.  We added Captain Chaos as our third fulltime student last fall at the same time that General Mayhem started his freshman year of homeschool high school.  Teaching three at home changed the dynamic, but this is our eighth year of home education.  It gets easier each year.   Last year, Captain Chaos spent half a day at our local public school taking art, computers, gym, and music classes along with her therapy.  Some of them were successful while others less so.  She had to learn that she could not vigorously shake the computer monitor in computer class when it wouldn’t talk for her, and that she shouldn’t exit programs with which she was bored. She was quite adept at getting herself kicked out of gym class, too. Captain Chaos is fun to work with.  Her learning style is a lot like General Mayhem’s was at that age. Major Havoc is at the point of the school year where he has completed some of his third grade work.  He will start fourth grade math, spelling, and vocabulary after the holiday break, which effectively makes him a 3 ½ grader.   General Mayhem is working hard in his course work, and still prefers learning at home rather than attending our local public school.

It was with a bit of sadness that we ended the year without George, aka The Big Fuzzy Rock.  Our 11 ½ year old husky/lab mix spent a great deal of his life curled-up and asleep in the back yard.  He developed an extremely bad case of arthritis that left his hind legs paralyzed.  Properly medicated, he was bright and alert, but walking was a real drag.  We made the difficult decision to put him down after Thanksgiving.  George was a good beast.   We added George to the family when General Mayhem was four.   It was General Mayhem who named George weeks before we knew whether the next dog would be a boy or a girl.  “What will you call the dog if it is a girl?” we asked him.  “George,” he replied.    After George’s departure, our black lab Reggie immediately claimed her spot as canine queen of the household and chief chicken herder.  We still enjoy our flock of birds.  

2011 was a year filled with blessings.  We hope that yours was, too.  We hope you had a very merry Christmas and a safe and Happy New Year.  We pray your life will be filled with God’s blessings. 


Arby, The Boss, General Mayhem, Major Havoc, Captain Chaos, and 2nd LT Henry Flipper

Amy Speaks about Christmas, Christianity, and Santa

I am a grown woman, a mother to four little angels. Even at my ripe old age of 30-something, I’d bet one of those little angels that if I were to ask my mom if she was the one who filled my childhood stocking, she would feign great shock and offense at such an accusation. “Me?” she would say, “Santa Claus? Not a chance!” In the same breath as her bold denial, she would probably whisper, “Here are some things for the children’s stockings.” And she would hand me a bag chock full of trinkets for her beloved grandchildren.

My mom always kept the magic of Christmas alive. Is she a liar because of claims that a jolly fat man dressed in a red and white suit was the one who filled our stockings every Christmas Eve? Did the fun we shared as a family diminish the REAL Reason for the season? Of course not! I treasure the memories of anticipation and then excitement in discovering what lay deep in my wooly red and white stocking on Christmas morning.

There are many people who feel that allowing such secular things as Santa Claus to be a part of their Christmas is in some way offensive to Jesus Christ whose birthday we celebrate on December 25. I know there are people with this view because I know some of those people. Some of these people have, in fact, looked with disapproval upon my own family’s tradition of hanging stockings by the chimney with care.

No one likes to be judged, and I especially do not like to be judged with a “Good/Bad Christian” measuring stick. It’s unfair to assume that our adding a delightful – albeit secular – dimension to our family tradition means that we have pushed aside Christ and the miracle of that birth in Bethlehem so long ago. Quite the contrary, it is, after all, God who created us in His image. We who love to be delighted, who love to be part of relationships. Family traditions are all a part of relationships. God is the God of relationships. And I picture Him in Heaven looking down on His  children celebrating His birthday. I picture Him with a smile and a twinkle in His eyes as He watches the absolute delight on children’s faces as they uncover the treasures in their stockings. I can hear Him saying, “Wow! What a fun way to celebrate a birthday!”

I want nothing more than to honor God on Christmas, and I strive to do so as I build traditions with my family. Santa Claus happens to be one of those traditions. Please don’t judge me for it.

Amy is a homeschooling mother of four children. You can read more of her writing at Treasured Chapters...of Life and Family.  (Images courtesy of Turn Back to God at www.turnbacktogod.com)

God Hates Homeschooling

“God hates homeschooling.” That was the seventh of ten reasons “why homeschooling parents are doing the wrong thing” as explained by blogger and teacher Jesse Scaccia in a May 2009 blog post titled “The Case Against Homeschooling” that appeared on the blog Teacher, Revised. The emphasis on “hate” was his. The blog post was recently forwarded to me by an alert reader who thought it might be good fodder for Amy. Mr. Scaccia offered as proof of God’s hatred of homeschooling Matthew 28:19, “Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.” He added an abbreviated Acts 1:8, “Ye shall be witnesses unto me,” in support of his claim. It appears that the self-identified “agnostic” Mr. Scaccia believes that homeschoolers have an obligation to attend public schools in order to evangelize. Never mind the fact that atheists and the ACLU are working hard to stamp out prayer in public schools across the nation. Apparently, Mr. Scaccia operates under the mistaken belief that all homeschoolers are Christian. That’ll rankle more than a few secular homeschoolers, not to mention our Jewish and Muslim home educators.

I experience equal measures of amusement and disappointment while reading arguments such as Mr. Scaccia’s when the author boasts of such an impressive list of academic achievements. He is a published journalist who “holds dual degrees in English and education from the University of Connecticut, a master’s in education from Connecticut, and a master’s in journalism from New York University.” That makes my BA from the University of Illinois at Chicago seem paltry by comparison. Still, I find his discourse against homeschooling vacuous. He wrote that “a students’ classroom shouldn’t also be where they eat Fruit Loops and meat loaf,” “homeschooling parent/teachers are arrogant to the point of lunacy,” and “As a teacher, homeschooling kind of pisses me off.” How can anyone refute those arguments? As soon as I finish writing, I’m running off to enroll my kids in the Apathy School District.

It is hard to tell whether Mr. Scaccia was attempting humor or offering serious thoughts on a controversial subject. His post garnered 1,065 comments and spurred four follow-up posts. It took a lot of writing to walk-back his original comments. Everything that needs to be said about his writing was probably written 2 ½ years ago. Be forewarned: read at your own risk. When you've finished, hug your kids. Then give them a pop quiz. Mr. Scaccia may think that “homeschooling [is] great for self-aggrandizing, society-phobic mother[s] but not quite so good for the kid,” but this homeschooling dad thinks we’re doing just fine.

Trumping the Socialization Card

Saturday night, The Boss told me an entertaining story about a homeschooling conversation she had Saturday afternoon. The conversation took place in the Fellowship Hall at our church, where twenty American Heritage Girls between the ages of six and sixteen were working together to bake pies and cookies for shut-ins and people who will attend our church’s Christmas holiday meal. There was a lot of laughing and joking taking place. The girls were loud and clearly having fun. Some of the younger kids completed their work and started a game of tag while the others continued baking. Almost half of the girls in the troop are homeschoolers.

The Boss was working on troop paperwork at a table where Jillian sat with her mother. Jillian is in-charge of camping for the troop. She had said something to her mother along the lines of “They homeschool their children,” or “The Boss is the one I told you about. She homeschools her kids.” Her mother (a friendly, plump, white-haired senior citizen) responded with hesitant approval. “I guess it is okay, as long as they get out and spend time with other children.”

Yes, she played the socialization card.

The Boss stopped what she was doing and turned to Jillian’s mother. “Do you see the girls mixing pie crust at that table over there?” She pointed to a table where six girls were in various stages of mixing and rolling pie crusts. “Three of those girls are homeschooled. Can you tell me which ones?”

Then she directed Jillian’s mom to the group of younger girls who were playing at the far end of the hall. “Do you see those girls over there? Half of that group is homeschoolers. Can you tell me which ones?”

In neither instance could Jillian’s mother separate the homeschoolers from the non-homeschoolers.

“I’m really tired of the socialization argument,” the Boss concluded. “Cleary, homeschoolers get out and interact with their community.”

Enough said!

Remember Banita Jacks?

Ms. Jacks was the Washington, D.C., mother of four who lived with the decomposing bodies of her four children. She had killed them, claiming that they were demon possessed. Ms. Jacks had removed her children from D.C. public schools, claiming to be homeschooling them. Not surprisingly, this grisly murder immediately elicited calls to rewrite homeschooling laws, tightening restrictions on how and where homeschooling took place. As more details from the investigation emerged, we learned that Ms. Jacks was well known to D.C. police and the D.C. Child and Family Services Agency. CFS had failed to make their regularly scheduled inspections of Ms. Jacks' home. Calmer legislative heads prevailed, and onerous restrictions were not placed on homeschoolers as a result of Ms. Jacks’ actions. She is currently serving a 120 year prison sentence.

This case came to mind when I read a Yahoo! Answers question posted by “Johnny Poopster.” Yes, that is his online name. Mr. Poopster explained that he was “writing a research argument against homeschooIing. The type of argument is ethicaI/evaluation--and my stance is that homeschooling goes against the human principles of equality for all, freedom of choice, and goes in support of tyranny of the majority, etc.” But Mr. Poopster had a problem. “I can think of dozens of hypothetical situations that are bound to happen at some time, but I am having trouble researching it on the web. I don't know what particular keywords to put in that would bring up articles on that. Are there any specific cases you can find of homeschooled children who were abused and it was not taken care of appropriately? It needs to be documented in the media, somehow.”

I can think of half a dozen cases where “homeschooled” children have died in horrendous circumstances, but I’m not going to share them with Mr. Poopster. I write in defense of homeschooling when knees begin jerking in response to cases such as Ms. Jacks, Nubia Barahona, or Matthew Degner. My reason for not assisting the young man isn’t that I am afraid of a rational discussion of homeschooling. My problem with Mr. Poopster is the manner in which he is researching his topic.

In research, a conclusion should be based on the results of the research rather than conducting research to look for evidence in support of a predetermined conclusion. What happens to the validity of the writer’s argument if the researcher cannot find evidence to support the conclusion at which he or she hopes to arrive? Does the writer stubbornly cling to his belief, or does he change his ideas based on the results of his research? How would Mr. Poopster handle the Banita Jacks case? Does her crime justify the claim that homeschooling “goes against the human principles of equality for all, freedom of choice, and goes in support of tyranny of the majority?” Does he acknowledge that CFS failed to protect four children? Does he realize that even if the children were enrolled in a public school that Ms. Jacks could have killed them? There are many questions to be answered in a difficult case such as the Banita Jacks case, but Mr. Poopster won’t honestly and fairly discuss them. He has reached his conclusion. Someone failed miserably in teaching this young man critical thinking skills, and how to conduct research.

Mr. Poopster is full of crap.

Follow-up: On Thursday night the original question was deleted from Yahoo! Answers for violating their "Community Guidelines."

Thank You for Your Editorial Feedback, Please Return to Your Regularly Scheduled Math Assignment

I glanced at Captain Chaos' math paper yesterday afternoon. I am slowly transitioning my first grader from closely supervised instruction to slightly more independent work. Let’s face it, after working with her on simple addition and subtraction equations for four months, she should be able to complete one digit problems on her own. When I checked her paper, I was looking to see whether or not she had properly numbered the clock face on problem number 3. She had, with the addition of her well stated feelings concerning the problem.

"Poo!"

There’s never a dull moment with this girl.

"Amy" Speaks Out in Defense of Homeschooling

I remember when the command career counselor paid me a visit in the McMurdo bakery. I was 22, a second class petty officer in the US Navy serving in Antarctica, and I was less than a year from being discharged from a five-year tour of duty. When the Radioman Chief asked me about my future plans, I politely told him that I was leaving the navy to attend college. His reply was to tell me how he left the navy after his first tour of duty, attended college, dropped out, and returned to active duty. He honestly thought that he had a convincing argument to make me reenlist. I may have been less than politic when I replied, “So, what you are telling me is that since you failed, I will too?” The conversation quickly soured, and Chief never spoke to me again. I went on to fail miserably, graduating with honors and teaching professionally for seven years.

I recently encountered the same quality of thinking in the comments of two articles concerning homeschooling written by Jeff Mangum and published online in the Pomerado News. Mr. Mangum is a “Poway [California] resident, attorney and former PUSD board member.” In his original article, “To homeschool or not to homeschool,” Mr. Mangum attempted to offer a balanced analysis of the pros and cons of homeschooling. I believed his analysis was seriously flawed, and wrote my lengthy response in the comments section. Because of length restrictions in the software of the comments section, I was forced to leave my response in four separate comments. It was obvious from one of the replies, as well as Mr. Mangum’s second article, that three fourths of my response was completely ignored. I quickly realized that ignorance was a preferred tactic in the Pomerado News homeschooling discussion.

The anti-homeschooling arguments were the usual clichés that can be summed up in one word: socialization. We’ve read and heard them all before, and answered them repeatedly here at THA. In discussing whether or not homeschooling was advantageous, Mr. Mangum wrote that, “the homeschool community has strenuously opposed mandatory standardized testing. As a consequence, there is simply no reliable data available to compare the academic performance of homeschooled students to public school students.” That’s just wrong. But when I cited Dr. Lawrence Rudner ‘s 1998 study Homeschooling Works and Dr. Brian Ray’s Progress Report 2009: Homeschool Academic Achievement and Demographics, both sources were simply dismissed in the follow-up article “Readers speak out – loudly – on homeschooling” as ”statistically flawed and unreliable.” That made them, in Mr. Mangum’s opinion, not worth mentioning. It’s amazing how some people who truly believe that they are rational, reasonable thinkers simply dismiss out-of-hand that which is inconvenient. That’s ignorant.

The basis for most of the anti-homeschooling comments appeared to be anecdotal. This shouldn’t be surprising. What is left after you dismiss the studies? I particularly enjoyed the commenter who wrote, “When I homeschooled my daughter, I learned that distractions at home make it difficult to accomplish much, even with a motivated student. (My daughter credits that year of being home-schooled for having destroyed her good study habits.)” Basically, what that commenter wrote is that since he failed at homeschooling his daughter, the rest of us will fail, too. With apologies to Michelle over at Eagle Eye Academy, that person is a prime candidate for a career in the Navy.

I’m not going to rehash standard replies to the anti-homeschooling arguments. If you desire, you can read the two articles, and my replies, here and here. Please let us know if you leave a reply. You will find that in his second article, Mr. Mangum changed my name from “Arby” to “Amy.” Anonymity, you know. Because I tried so hard to hide my name when I left my original comment. Four times.

Sigh.

This Homeschooler Has Style!

You would think that since I am home teaching my kids every day of the week, I’d have a clue as to the latest styles and trends and where my kids learn of them. You’d think. You’d be wrong.

 

Captain Chaos awoke last Monday morning and begged me to put her in a dress for her trip to the therapist. Then she promptly accessorized with my old Midwest Airlines hearing protection ear muffs and an old hunting bow. The kids painted them for me. And yes, I wore them on the ramp at MCI for five years.

A week earlier she decided to dress herself, including black shoes, pink Capri’s,  a green shirt that reads “90% Angel,” a superhero cape, a baseball helmet, and a stick horse. 

I fear she’s inherited my sense of style. 

But the best of the week has to be the Turkey Crown.

 

Any princess of any value absolutely must wear a turkey crown.   After resolutely petitioning me for 24 hours to make a turkey crown, I sat down with her yesterday morning to craft the fowl diadem.  She wore it all day, along with her princess gown.  If only I had video of her shouting “Kia!” as she practiced karate in this royal attire. 

Have a good weekend, every one!

The Guilty until Proven Innocent Act

I’d like to propose a new bill for the New Jersey state legislature. Titled the “Guilty until Proven Innocent Act,” my bill would require all public employees (people who receive all or part of their income from tax-payers in the form of a state, county, or municipal salary) to submit an annual audit of their finances to the local media, as well as publish the results of the audit online. Any politician who maintains a campaign fund separate from their private finances must annually submit an audit for their campaign, too. These public employees will also be required to submit an annual letter of intent to continue receiving tax-payer funded salary and benefits, as well as a portfolio of financial records and materials including, but not limited to, an itemized list of financial expenditures, and samples of purchases, investments, stocks and bonds, or other financial transactions.

Maybe Loretta Weinberg will sponsor it.

State Senator Weinberg is the legislator who sponsored S-3105, the bill that would require New Jersey homeschoolers to submit to the local school district an annual letter of intent to homeschool, an extensive portfolio, and proof of an annual physical by a medical doctor for each homeschooled child. The local school district is the eyes of the state, able to peer into the family in ways the US Constitution prohibits police and prosecutors. S-3105 is Senator Weinberg’s second attempt at passing such legislation. The first was eight years ago. Both came in response to horrible situations where parents claiming that they were homeschooling their children were, in fact, physically abusing them. In both cases, children died. The logical conclusion to such situations is that all homeschoolers are potential abusers, and so must prove to the state that they are not if they wish to continue homeschooling. The Guilty until Proven Innocent Act applies that same logic to public employees.

If you Google the terms “New Jersey,” “politics,” “Governor,” and “corruption,” you will find enough reading to fill your time until the second coming. From former Governor Bob Corzine (refused to release his income tax returns during his 2000 election campaign for the US Senate; head of now bankrupt MF Global holdings; gave $441,600 in personal money to convicted Democratic machine Boss Joseph Ferriero) to Assemblymen Daniel Van Pelt (convicted, along with 19 others, in an FBI sting for money laundering and racketeering), and many in between, New Jersey gives both Chicago and Washington, D.C., a genuine challenge for the title of Dirtiest in Politics. It is not my intent to trivialize the tragic deaths of children, but if a couple of abuse cases amongst the thousands of New Jersey homeschooling families justifies the intrusion of the state into all homeschooling families, then the criminal actions of some state employees and politicians, which affects far more lives and occurs far more frequently, justifies the same level of scrutiny. In politics, money is everything.

Guilty until proven innocent.